My name is Jenny and I was born and raised in Caldwell County, Kentucky. My mom and dad separated when I was 3 years old and my sister was just a few months old. We had a pretty chaotic time growing up. Monday through Friday was with mom who was partying just about every night and I was right in the middle of it. I was the “go getter”. I can remember passing “cigarettes” from one side of the room to the other. I was also expected to take care of my sister. I looked forward to Friday because we went home with Granny and Poppa who took care of us, took us to church, and we felt like a normal family.
I was 12 the first time I had marijuana and loved it. It was okay because Momma said she’d rather I do that than smoke tobacco cigarettes. I believe I was 13 when I had my first drink. I felt a sense of relief and grew to love it. I couldn’t let Momma know though because drinking wasn’t ok since she came from a long line of alcoholics. That really confused me, but I continued to drink and smoke marijuana once in a while. Then I started saving my allowance from my poppa to buy me enough pot to get me through the week. Before I knew it I was stealing Poppa’s liquor.
"...I have self-esteem today. I can even look myself in the mirror."
In December 1999, our house caught fire. I was 15, my sister was 12 and we went to live at Granny’s. My mom and stepdad stayed wherever and then were arrested in January 2000 and sentenced to the penitentiary. I once again had to step up to take care of my sister because Granny wasn’t prepared to take care of two teenagers. My mom was incarcerated until I was 20 years old and by that time I had already got into legal trouble a few times. Poppa also died during this time which was emotionally difficult for me because I felt like he was the only one who ever believed in me.
In June 2007 I was sentenced to 2 years for “cold checks” which I’d written to buy alcohol and drugs. I was released on probation with Drug Court. When I didn’t comply, Drug Court sent me to Haven4Change (formerly Phoenix House) in March 2008. I was very concerned that I couldn’t make it. It was a big adjustment because I had been Granny’s baby and here I was a couple of hours from home. Other than jail, I had never been away from home. As time went on, things started happening. I learned to be responsible. I learned to pay rent, to fill out a money order…things that sound simple. It was the simple things that I thought I knew or that I thought that didn’t matter that made the difference.
Through the Haven4Change (formerly Phoenix House) program and my 12 step meetings, I have self esteem today. I can even look at myself in the mirror. I’m not going to say it’s been easy. I had moments when I thought I couldn’t do it. But Phoenix House has awesome staff that actually cares about us. I have been given another chance at life. It’s awesome that people trust me today. I have learned to love myself and others. I have a car that’s paid for with insurance. And the craziest thing of all, I’m enrolled at Western Kentucky University. None of this was possible a year ago. I truly believe that coming to Haven4Change saved my life.